We Are The Doe.

The Doe is a digital publication sharing anonymous narratives to promote civil discourse.

Follow Us

Lessons From Sex and Sexuality Stories and Narratives

The Doe Team

by The Doe Team

| July 28, 2022

This blog explores five narratives, three lessons and one important topic: sex.

Sex is everywhere. Entertainment, media, school, etc. Sex is a life-form constant, and regardless of whether or not you’re having it, there are important life lessons to be learned from it.

We’ve taken a look at five of our Unbuttoned narratives that reveal three lessons from our authors’ real-life experiences. Let’s get it on.

Lesson 1: All Sex Leads to Self

Yes, sex is often with another person, but two of our narratives reveal that sex is capable of more than connecting with another person; it leads you to yourself.

000

Femdom Power: How I Shed My Feminism for Matriarchy

In Femdom Power: How I Shed My Feminism for Matriarchy, BigMama shares her 20-plus-year journey of sex education and how it led her to know herself most intimately.

BigMama found power and purpose in teaching women how to prioritize knowing and understanding pleasure alone in order to communicate to a partner, but “[o]ver time, my work expanded far beyond the basic life-enhancing ecstasy of the orgasm. I began teaching women how to bypass hetero-normative expectations in their sexual expression.”

This led her to the decision to strip her feminist identity and claim what she felt to be her truth: becoming the matriarch. Engaging in a consensual femdom relationship with a younger man allowed her to have the kind of sex two marriages didn’t give her and embrace herself as a matriarch.

001

Three Ways Sex Work Has Made Me a Better Business Owner

After realizing she was the go-to friend and colleague for business advice, author Aviva Ruse shares the lessons she learned in Three Ways Sex Work Has Made Me a Better Business Owner

Engaging in sex work taught Aviva Ruse to understand how much time she’s willing to give, how much energy she is willing to expend and how to trust her own instincts. She says: 

“I'm a sex worker, and I have to be able to determine quickly whether or not a client is worth talking to, taking on, dealing with. The stakes are higher than in a regular job—I could get robbed, raped, arrested or even murdered. Never underestimate the power of your life being on the line to find out that ‘Hey, I can do this.’”

There are a number of ways to learn the lessons you need to in life, but for these authors, sex was the path that allowed them to understand themselves and pursue a life of pleasure, whether it’s an orgasm or a business deal.

Lesson 2: We Need to Talk About Sex

Sex isn’t exactly a common topic in every household, and not every person gets to discuss things like sexuality and porn at a young age. This lack of conversation can lead to difficulty, as these authors share.

002

I Quit Watching Porn and It Changed My Life

In I Quit Watching Porn and It Changed My Life, NiceDonut shares what it was like to discover porn for the first time. Having no understanding of what he was seeing, paired with an indescribable emotional intensity, he found himself down a rabbit hole:

“Because I couldn’t understand what I was witnessing, I couldn’t seek any support around my new fascination. I had incredibly strong emotions about what I was watching, but I couldn’t differentiate what was good and bad. I only delved deeper and deeper.”

If porn was a topic of conversation in households, an understanding could have enabled a healthier relationship with it, as well as the freedom to discuss the difference between what it means to sexualize a person in real life versus fantasy. Ultimately, it was the ability to communicate with friends that created a path of recovery for NiceDonut.

003

Discovering My Asexuality: The Ace Up My Sleeve

In Discovering My Asexuality: The Ace Up My Sleeve, Rumormil shares the isolating experience of growing up without the desire to have sex. Despite the hormones of teenage years and wild nights in college, she realized sex was something she simply wasn’t interested in.

But not having an interest was stressful. It wasn’t something she felt she could talk about. It wasn’t until adulthood that she found what she was looking for. LGBT turned into LGBTQIA. That last little letter was everything for this author. After a mad search of the web, she discovered that she was asexual and in no way alone.

Normalizing conversations about sex and sexuality can lead to proper education and understanding, a key aspect of feeling whatever it means to be normal.

Lesson 3: Sex Can Be Healing

Marvin Gaye might have been onto something with “Sexual Healing.”

004

I Was a 35-Year-Old Virgin: My Surrogate Partnership Experience

In I Was a 35-Year-Old Virgin: My Surrogate Partnership Experience, Self-Love Man reached out for help when he discovered he had sexual anorexia, a diagnosis that means avoiding sexual encounters. His partnership with a surrogate enabled him to finally have sex, but what he got was much more than just sex. He encountered deep healing.

Surrogate therapy helped this author uncover the root of his sexual anorexia, a trauma born of a mentally ill mother keen on seeing all men as aggressors through a second-wave feminist lens. This sexual healing gave him the confidence, tools and skills he needed to engage healthily in future intimate relationships.

He says, “A friend once told me that healing in a relationship doesn’t come from getting validation; it comes from experiencing how my partner sees me. When I witness the way they perceive me, I see myself with a new pair of glasses.”

Final Thoughts

Sex has a lot of power. It allows you to understand your sexuality, desires, skills and can even help you heal. These lessons were important for these authors on their journeys. What lessons have you learned from sex?

Looking for more stories like these? Head over to our site to read a range of narratives that might open and challenge your perspective—in or out of the bedroom.

EXPLORE NARRATIVES

Related Articles

What Do You Enjoy About Reading Anonymous Stories? - The Doe

Learning about topics through anonymous storytelling can teach us a lot about our shared identity.

Should Pro Athletes Use Their Platforms for Discourse? - The Doe

Professional athletes have a wide reach on their platforms, so we asked readers if they think those...

5 Lessons in Personal Style, Expression & Self-Identity - The Doe

Clothing, makeup, hairstyles. They all are small ways in which we express our self-identity as...